The Nabi Effect & More

Lets talk about the last couple of weeks.

Being transparent helps everyone understand that what I am trying to teach is an active process. I am still using the process that I am sharing with the world. Since I have been home, my teenagers have switched roles. So my 15 yr old, does everything that he is told. He sleeps a lot but when he is awake and I ask him to do something it gets done. My middle two kids who are 14 and 12 act a lot like their father and choose to give me a hard way to go. The 12 yr old, my daughter is not verbally disrespectful but stubborn and does not follow directions well. My 14 yr old is the one that I have been really struggling with. He is easily influenced by others and like to make everyone happy. His grandmother has influenced him a lot. He listens to his father, but give women a hard time.

The process of correcting this behavior is redirection and elimination, so he receives consistent redirection. It is immediate because he does not hold his tongue or watch what he says. And sometimes when you ask him what he just said he cannot even repeat it back to you, because he is going with the flow. I don't do physical punishment, so if redirection does not work, I take stuff away. Gaming privileges, going outside, cell phone and allowance. I am not asking for perfection, just effort to change the behavior and this process has been working so far. We still have a uphill climb because unfortunately between me, his father and grandparents, what offends us is different and they are not bothered by certain behaviors that I strive to change so that he does not get hurt in the real world.

Now lets talk about the 3 and 5 yr old. They talk a lot and like to negotiate different things, so I starting using the counting method with them to make them understand that I am serious. When we are outside of the house, I don't yell, I use a low tone and get down on their level. They understand that I am not happy with them and apologize. I ask them if they know why I am not happy because I want to make sure they understand. The 5 yr old is getting better at explaining himself but the 3 yr old is still learning, but I am teaching responsibility and accountability.

Leave a comment below if you have any questions.